Yesterday was my Mother’s Day

It was September 6th 2004; 5:30 in the morning. The sky was still dark. The air was still cool. And it was my first day to go to my campus. It was (really”) my first day for attending my medical class. And before I go, I remember, I gave my mom b’day hugs & kisses. I felt so happy that day. She said that it was a perfect gift for her that I start my first day at campus on her b’day.

4 years after that moment…

It was September 6th 2008. I just came back from the place where I spent my last two weeks with many sick people and some people who physically health but mentally ill.
Feeling tired but also happy ‘coz I finally came home. I need sleep a lot; I miss my 350 thousands pillow and my warm blanket. But beyond ‘em all, the one that I missed is my Mom. She was having her birthday that day. I gave her b’day hugs and kisses, thanked her. And yeah, we (me, my mom, and my sister) had a little party in our living room too.

Before she blow the b’day candle, she made some wishes.. First, great wishes for my sister (to get a husband actually :D), and greater wishes for me (to graduate me from specialist medical school). After that, she made her own wishes. And.. fuuuhh…. The smoke goes up as our merit goes up to the Man above. She thanked to God for these good years, prosperity, and health. For everything, that she could make me graduated from my MedSchool; that she could make a living until now on by her own sweat. And, after all we pray for good things in the future.

In the last two weeks, I learn so many things from my job as a real doctor in Tangerang General Hospital. One of them is about mother. Let’s see..

First, meet Mrs. M, 80 years old. She had nonhaemmorhagic-stroke, pneumonia, type II diabetes mellitus, PAD & DVT, and some geriatric problems: difficult intake, immobilization, ulcus decubitus, and some other problems… She’s also apathy and has little contact with others.
Fortunately, she has a great daughter and grandson. Let’s call them Mrs. J and her son Mr. K. Mrs. J is an ordinary housewife, meanwhile Mr. K is attending his technical school in Bandung Institute of Technology. Mrs. J & Mr. K are always there for her. They pay so much attention for every little change on her body. They told me when they found some irritation on her nasolabial fold, or the wound on the back is healing. Helping Mrs. M taking bath is their routine activity everyday. Massaging her leg, taking care for her wound, changing the pampers, everything they do with so much care and I can obviously see love from their face.

Meanwhile, meet Mrs. A, 72 years old. She also had cerebrovascular disease, gastrointestinal bleeding, unconscious, and same other geriatric problems..
But, unfortunately, she doesn’t have great children. Mrs. B is her daughter. Mrs. B is supposed to take care for her own mom, but actually she’s not. At first, when I heard a good story came out from Mrs. B’s mouth, I have a positive feeling about her. She said that she was so proud with her mom. She told me that Mrs. A previously was a teacher. She had taught so many people to be doctors, lawyers, policemen, etc… Everybody adores her when she was a teacher. But when she’s sick, nobody comes visit her and help her. Besides, Mrs. B felt so sad because her mom has not recovered from her chronic disease. And, one day, we have a conversation that makes me write this blog.
First, she’s asking to me why the condition was standing still. Later she asked me..
Mrs. B : Can you make my mom better, doc?
Me : We tried our best, ma’am. We also want Mrs. A to recover asap.
Mrs. B : Doc, if you can’t do it, I want her to go.. Just go away. We are already tired doc. Everyday I feed her, escort her. It would be better if she goes away..
Me : Sorry ma’am, we will try to our best for her and I am so sorry that we are not allowed to abandon her here.
Mrs. B : It’s so hard to take care for my mom. I prefer her to go away. I wonder why it’s so hard for her to go away. I already call a psychic. Maybe she has been cursed or maybe she has mystical thing on her so that it’s hard for her to die.
Me : speechless…

Later that on, I just thought that there is always good mom but there is not always good child.

Yesterday, I had this conversation with my mom.

Me : Mi, is that hard to take care children?
Mom : There’s no word “hard” to take care children. I love you ‘coz you are my child. And I’m so gratified that you are a good son to me.
Me : Is it so tired to have a son like me?
Mom : Every little drop of my sweat is dedicated to see you happy and healthy. When I see you that way, it swept away my tired honey.

From that on, I think that Mrs. B is so damn wrong. There’s no need to make our mom more suffer by abandon her when her lying sick or even blaming on mystical thing which she doesn’t know at all. As a child we should take care for our mom and never had “tired” or “bored” word when we do it. Without our mom we are nothing. And from now on, every time I see my mom lying sick on bed, I wish that it was me lying on that bed, rather than her. And it’s so true that there is always good mom but there is not always good child.

Happy b’day Mom. And, don’t get sick anw!